Personal narrative

           Countless students from South Korea wish to study abroad in western nations such as the United States and Canada. They are passionate enough to master how to twist their tongues and sound like a real American within a few years, but assimilating with the western culture and getting along with foreigners is a different issue for them. Sometimes, these students form groups of their own and lock themselves into the circle, which I believe is a huge waste of opportunities to experience the exotic atmosphere and actually interact with the foreigners. Thus, when I spent 18 months in the United States, California, I tried to be open as possible towards my colleagues and teachers, and it was quite difficult at first.

           Back in California, I had a friend named Andrew. His parents were from Great Britain, but he was raised in America most of his life and went to the same school as mine. Andrew was an optimistic and active boy who helped me adapt to the completely new environment and invite me for holidays so I wouldn’t have to stay home with my mom. Since his parents were very interested in me, I think they wanted Andrew to have a new yet unique friend like me.

           One day, Andrew and his family invited me for Thanksgiving. Of course, we have a similar holiday in Korea called “Chooseok”, so I brought a Korean traditional food of Chooseok, “japchae” which consists of glass noodles, mushrooms, spinach, carrots, and various spices, cooked by my mom. Unfortunately, every step was an obstacle until the end of the day. Before walking into Andrew’s house I took off my shoes and gently put it on the side. It must have looked funny for them, but for me, I had absolutely no idea.

With my shoes back on, I entered, and caught a glimpse of Andrew’s grandfather who just arrived from England to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family. My Korean instincts instantly dominated my thoughts and right at the moment I greeted him in a Korean way, making a 90 degree bow. It seemed like he expected “hello sir, I am Andrew’s friend”, but I was oblivious enough to be unable to see anyone directly in the eyes except for Andrew and his younger sister. Now that I think of it, a foreigner like me bowing in an unfamiliar way and avoiding eye contact could have made them uncomfortable.

           The heat of the moment was when we were all on the dining table. Nobody was brave enough to try “japchae”, and thinking of how my mom would feel if the food went to trash made me finish up several plates of “japchae”. I still regret holding that turkey leg with my bare hands and eating it like a caveman because that must have been a shock to them. I later realized that these were manners in the Western countries just like how Korea has its own code of manners.  

           As Andrew and I became closer we shared our cultural backgrounds which improved our understanding upon each other’s behaviors. However, I felt obligated to behave more in a way that people would expect in the United States because I acknowledged the inversion that this time I was a foreigner to them. Later I invited Andrew for a sleepover, but that miserably failed starting from lack of knowledge on what desserts are for. Fortunately, he has been a faithful and loyal friend, and we still contact each other through Facebook. I would love to see him again, and this time in a more presentable manner.